Feeling Lost But In Control

I don’t know exactly how this is my case. I just feel I’m already quite in control of things but still, I’m feeling lost. As I’ve said in the title, I’m feeling lost but in control. Am not I?

Troubled

Call me troubled and you are right. It’s been 12 days since my first post but I was just unable to write more.

I have had attempts, but making this blog my journal seems hard—especially when I am not alone and I actually got work.

Call me whatever—I really have a lot of things to be thankful for, so you will ever just wonder how I could also feel depressed.

Emotionally Troubled

Well, that’s primarily the case. I’m somehow feeling lost because I’m emotionally distressed. What do I do?

I have had struggles in the past few days with my best friend.

But, now that I’ve finally committed myself to writing—beginning with finally finding time for writing—I’ve just forgotten all that bumpy ride I had with my emotions.

Too bad, my mind does not seem to recall bad feelings so well. Bad memories? Maybe it could. But somehow my brain chooses not to—it’s how it tries to cope.

Financially Troubled

Well, at this point in my life, maybe I’m a bit financially troubled. But, so far, I’m quite in control now. I already mentioned in my introductory page that I needed money. And that’s because I have loans and on top of that, I pay for my mother’s loans, too (too bad, right?).

So, I’m losing some savings potential to the odd experience of having to bear the burden of someone’s ill financial dealings. But I don’t want to put all the blame on my mother. Anyway, I don’t know her full story. One thing is for sure: I don’t want to mess up as she did.

I wish I could encourage you more along that line. It turns out, though, that despite your best efforts, you could still end up being like your mother or father. (Well, I got this insight from a great book on relationship struggles. Check out the book here.)

Despite everything, I don’t want to end up struggling with debt.

Still In Control

Yes, the good thing now is that I’m in control. In fact, I could now write precisely because I realized my mind’s still intact and I am in control. Sorry for having to repeat the point.

Anyway, I said in my intro that I’m here to help you, right?

So, somehow, I’m still doing fine despite all that struggle because I’ve found a purpose.

Sounds deep. But, it’s actually nothing more than having redeemed my composure through writing. I’ve been too irritated lately.

Motivated To Gain

One indicator I just spotted is my motivation to gain. For me, gain is about being able to

  • save money
  • invest money
  • pay all my debts
  • pay all my mother’s debts.

I can play cool about it, but now I’m really craving it. I want to accomplish all these things and I want to get away from my distractions.

Somehow, focusing on these objectives gives me a rather positive avenue for pouring out my emotions—especially when I’m angered by my best friend.

(Well, I think we do have a hate-love relationship. I’m going to write more on this, soon.)

For now, suffice it to say that if you’re quite emotionally disturbed, I encourage you to redirect that strong emotion. Pour it out on something you’re passionate about. Then, go, get it!

You Can Capitalize On Your Emotions

At the end of the day, that’s what I’ve learned. You got to capitalize on your emotions instead of just allowing yourself to be swayed by it. Be in control.

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Just like this. I’m somewhat lost around here. No other people around. But my brain’s still intact. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.

And, just like that person above who is probably lost in thought, wade through it.

You can.

I’m doing well with it. It’s still not easy, but I’m feeling more powerful because I can have something full of worth at the end of the day.

I may be emotionally torn, feeling lost, feeling angry. Nonetheless, I still feel in control. I think you could.

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