Slowly but surely—as the popular adage goes—I’m seeing my best friend live. It turns out that genuinely loving a person does heal. How does that work? How does genuine love heal? What is genuine love in the first place?
Genuine Love Defined
For the short time I spent telling my life stories in this blog, I’ve found some incredible lessons on what true love means.
Authentic love is self-giving.
It doesn’t expect any return; rather, it sweetly longs for a love that feels the same.
Take note. Longing or desiring is different from expecting. The former has hope; the latter, somehow, has an element of command to it.
And, I’ve learned. Love doesn’t force. You cannot command love. You may long for it. You may earnestly desire it. But don’t expect it. Hope, instead, for it.
Usually, it wins. Genuine love usually wins.
The process may take some time, but genuine love has the capacity to draw the thirsting one almost magically. Call that thirsting person
- a dysfunctional individual,
- a codependent family member,
- an abusive friend—
—but true love has its spell. The person bestowed with it immediately recognizes the difference. The addict becomes free.
True Love Manifested
If genuine love is the solution, then it’s just right to ask the relevant questions. How do you show true love? How do you possess it? How do you deliver it?
True love does not spring from one’s self. Contrary to popular belief, it does not spring from a fountain within you.
So, where does true love come from?
Well, it springs from above you.
How do I know?
Take time to meditate. Think and feel beyond your own existence and you will know, there is something unknown that is somewhat making itself clear to you whenever you’re devoid of self.
Apparently, that which was unknown to you loves you. Somehow, it speaks. In some way, you know you were not alone.
It’s beyond thinkable. It seems magic, too, but no—it’s not.
You know that there’s just something beyond what you see.
Despite all the chaos, someone cares. Despite your questions, you know there’s an ultimate end to this heart-rending void.
Whatever or whoever that is, it must be self-giving. And that’s how true love works.
Why Does Self-Giving Love Work?
It works because it strikes right at the very root.
And what is the root? I believe the root of all this emptiness is pretty simple.
It is all about selfishness. It is thinking either too highly of oneself so as to look down on others, or too lowly of oneself so as to pull the attention toward self—both ways leaving no room for self-giving.
Come to think of it.
If everybody went to draw love for self and nothing more, the well will soon be empty.
Rather than being buckets that only seek to be filled, would we not find more happiness in being conduits of genuine love to one another?